I make pinball my bitch

I'm such a pinball wizard that I had the pinballs in my machine replaced with pincubes.

Let's play pinball mother fuckers!

It's a little known fact that I am a pinball wizard. Actually, that's not accurate.

I am THE pinball wizard.


Bring it on.

BULLET - In stores soon

My new rap album, "BULLET" will be in stores soon. It's a single track (also called BULLET) that spans all 80 minutes of the CD. I recorded it in one take - and it's flawless.


In other news, the Grammy's will be cancelled for the rest of eternity - because this album won every award that could ever possibly be given out - and nothing will ever top it.

Buy it now. If you download it, I will squeeze a lemon into your eye before mercilessly beating you with a spiked baseball bat. Then I will flick you on the nose - causing your face to explode out the back of your head.

Peace out, bitches!

I don't need a .44 Magnum.

All I have to do is THROW a bullet at you - and you will die. Simple as that.


If I use a .44 Magnum it's because I want you to be mega dead.

Christian Bale is a fucking phoney.

Ever wonder why Batmans voice was so different when he was wearing the suit? That's because Christian Bale WASN'T in the suit. I was.

I AM BATMAN.

And don't any of you ever forget it.

Chuck Norris is a pussy

This is Clint Eastwood, and I'd like to welcome you all to my new blog. I am such a badass that it literally could not be contained any longer. You have been warned. Mother fuckers.